Lothar Has a Tendency to Zone Out While He's Bashing Things

by Floyd Fiftynames
Licensed Bard

While fighting some kobolds in and around some ruins, Lothar reflected on his anger, the violence he was engaged in, and the nature of one's ego.

Lothar could surprise you with his depth, sometimes.

When the beak-men killed his family, Lothar's grief took his psyche to a variety of different places. There was the rage place, of course - that was helpful when it came time to kill the kobolds, and even though the scaly little bastards weren't the object of his anger, it felt empowering to crush their skulls as they tried in vain to kill our hero. It probably wasn't going to be very healthy in the long run, though - with every kobold he killed, he just felt emptier, the death of his father, his grandmother, his brother, and his sister haunting him more. All this power, he thought to himself, why couldn't you do anything to stop it?


And that's when the depression started to sink in (fortunately, it was the functional kind). Ultimately, he knew his quest for revenge would be selfish. His family was gone, and there was no way he was going to get them back. What good would it do to repay murder with murder? But a little selfishness is necessary for the survival of the spirit. Lothar's problem was that revenge became the only means he had of validating his self-worth. Everything he truly valued had been taken from him, and for a brief moment, he considered ending his existence himself. The problem was, for this boy whose ego had been wounded, killing himself would forever associate him with that act, and it would be cemented as his legacy. We wouldn't be sitting here today, talking about Lothar, the hero of Oakshadow. We'd be talking about the tanner boy who committed suicide to escape the life that made him so miserable. And then you'd probably want your money back.

I want you to believe this story has a happy ending. I really do. To rise to great heights, you have to start at the bottom, though, and I can't think of anything more depressing than being in a situation where you can't even kill yourself because it would only compound the problem. Yet that's where Lothar was at this point. And that's where I'm going to leave you today. Not because that's where the story ends - but because it can be illuminating to dwell in the hero's darkest hour, and more satisfying to walk with him back into the light.

FF