Sunday, July 29, 2012
Wherever I may roam
Ever since the beak men took away my family and my home, I have felt lost. Adrift. With no direction pulling me in any discernible direction. There is a hollowness that I cannot seem to fill nor know what it craves. But there is an urge. A deep rooted hunger for justice.
I oftentimes feel alone when in groups and feel a pull towards wilderness. I identified closely with the people in the trees and their profound respect for their surroundings.
I need to find these beak men and put my family's souls to rest. Maybe in avenging their deaths I will find my own peace? Maybe...
You Have Focus, But You Lack Rage
by Floyd Fiftynames
Licensed Bard
The first town Lothar and his friends arrived in was no bigger than Oakshadow had been, and despite some familiar trappings, nothing felt right. So when the innkeeper found out Lothar was a tanner, and actively tried to recruit him into staying, the young brute found himself re-evaluating, right then and there, what he thought his life was going to be.
He reflected on some of the places he'd been over the last few days - walking the entire length of the scar, and viewing the depths of its black abyss, and the room at the bottom of the ruins, with it's chair of pure silver. Or, for that matter, the ruins themselves, where he encountered more excitement and adventure than he ever thought he'd experience in his entire life.
He'd seen a wizard, for goodness sake. Something the ordinary would tell you doesn't exist. Not only that, he'd killed the wizard, bringing it down as the goblin mage tried to destroy him and his friends. While fighting the wizard, Lothar, who was taking a beating, found a place deep inside him, a place that allowed him to take his frustrations and channel them into strength. I'd like to call it a focus, but Lothar wouldn't like that. He thought of it as a rage.
While he was in his rage, Lothar felt pure. He did not think, he acted, and his actions were effective. With fury came energy, and an ability to ignore physical pain as he swung his axe to and fro, chopping down his enemies like the tree he used back in Oakshadow to expunge his anger. While he was in this state, Lothar knew he was being his most natural, his most him.
He knew he wanted to find this place again, and soon. And he wouldn't get there by taking up a job as a tanner and becoming his father before he'd lived two full decades. The answer, then, was easy.
FF
Licensed Bard
The first town Lothar and his friends arrived in was no bigger than Oakshadow had been, and despite some familiar trappings, nothing felt right. So when the innkeeper found out Lothar was a tanner, and actively tried to recruit him into staying, the young brute found himself re-evaluating, right then and there, what he thought his life was going to be.
He reflected on some of the places he'd been over the last few days - walking the entire length of the scar, and viewing the depths of its black abyss, and the room at the bottom of the ruins, with it's chair of pure silver. Or, for that matter, the ruins themselves, where he encountered more excitement and adventure than he ever thought he'd experience in his entire life.
He'd seen a wizard, for goodness sake. Something the ordinary would tell you doesn't exist. Not only that, he'd killed the wizard, bringing it down as the goblin mage tried to destroy him and his friends. While fighting the wizard, Lothar, who was taking a beating, found a place deep inside him, a place that allowed him to take his frustrations and channel them into strength. I'd like to call it a focus, but Lothar wouldn't like that. He thought of it as a rage.
While he was in his rage, Lothar felt pure. He did not think, he acted, and his actions were effective. With fury came energy, and an ability to ignore physical pain as he swung his axe to and fro, chopping down his enemies like the tree he used back in Oakshadow to expunge his anger. While he was in this state, Lothar knew he was being his most natural, his most him.
He knew he wanted to find this place again, and soon. And he wouldn't get there by taking up a job as a tanner and becoming his father before he'd lived two full decades. The answer, then, was easy.
FF
Friday, July 20, 2012
Lothar Has a Tendency to Zone Out While He's Bashing Things
by Floyd Fiftynames
Licensed Bard
While fighting some kobolds in and around some ruins, Lothar reflected on his anger, the violence he was engaged in, and the nature of one's ego.
Lothar could surprise you with his depth, sometimes.
When the beak-men killed his family, Lothar's grief took his psyche to a variety of different places. There was the rage place, of course - that was helpful when it came time to kill the kobolds, and even though the scaly little bastards weren't the object of his anger, it felt empowering to crush their skulls as they tried in vain to kill our hero. It probably wasn't going to be very healthy in the long run, though - with every kobold he killed, he just felt emptier, the death of his father, his grandmother, his brother, and his sister haunting him more. All this power, he thought to himself, why couldn't you do anything to stop it?
And that's when the depression started to sink in (fortunately, it was the functional kind). Ultimately, he knew his quest for revenge would be selfish. His family was gone, and there was no way he was going to get them back. What good would it do to repay murder with murder? But a little selfishness is necessary for the survival of the spirit. Lothar's problem was that revenge became the only means he had of validating his self-worth. Everything he truly valued had been taken from him, and for a brief moment, he considered ending his existence himself. The problem was, for this boy whose ego had been wounded, killing himself would forever associate him with that act, and it would be cemented as his legacy. We wouldn't be sitting here today, talking about Lothar, the hero of Oakshadow. We'd be talking about the tanner boy who committed suicide to escape the life that made him so miserable. And then you'd probably want your money back.
I want you to believe this story has a happy ending. I really do. To rise to great heights, you have to start at the bottom, though, and I can't think of anything more depressing than being in a situation where you can't even kill yourself because it would only compound the problem. Yet that's where Lothar was at this point. And that's where I'm going to leave you today. Not because that's where the story ends - but because it can be illuminating to dwell in the hero's darkest hour, and more satisfying to walk with him back into the light.
FF
Licensed Bard
While fighting some kobolds in and around some ruins, Lothar reflected on his anger, the violence he was engaged in, and the nature of one's ego.
Lothar could surprise you with his depth, sometimes.
When the beak-men killed his family, Lothar's grief took his psyche to a variety of different places. There was the rage place, of course - that was helpful when it came time to kill the kobolds, and even though the scaly little bastards weren't the object of his anger, it felt empowering to crush their skulls as they tried in vain to kill our hero. It probably wasn't going to be very healthy in the long run, though - with every kobold he killed, he just felt emptier, the death of his father, his grandmother, his brother, and his sister haunting him more. All this power, he thought to himself, why couldn't you do anything to stop it?
And that's when the depression started to sink in (fortunately, it was the functional kind). Ultimately, he knew his quest for revenge would be selfish. His family was gone, and there was no way he was going to get them back. What good would it do to repay murder with murder? But a little selfishness is necessary for the survival of the spirit. Lothar's problem was that revenge became the only means he had of validating his self-worth. Everything he truly valued had been taken from him, and for a brief moment, he considered ending his existence himself. The problem was, for this boy whose ego had been wounded, killing himself would forever associate him with that act, and it would be cemented as his legacy. We wouldn't be sitting here today, talking about Lothar, the hero of Oakshadow. We'd be talking about the tanner boy who committed suicide to escape the life that made him so miserable. And then you'd probably want your money back.
I want you to believe this story has a happy ending. I really do. To rise to great heights, you have to start at the bottom, though, and I can't think of anything more depressing than being in a situation where you can't even kill yourself because it would only compound the problem. Yet that's where Lothar was at this point. And that's where I'm going to leave you today. Not because that's where the story ends - but because it can be illuminating to dwell in the hero's darkest hour, and more satisfying to walk with him back into the light.
FF
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